We had to do a Lenny again (see previous post for explanation of that joke) in order to get to the V&A Museum for 0740hrs. The merciless beast that is London was kind to us, granting us free passage to Kensington Underground station. My ears were still ringing from Rachel and Suzanne’s constant moaning as we emerged into the light of the West London morning, eager to impress, like Chrissy in The Sopranos (early seasons).

We met up with Jazmine and entered (the) Victoria and Albert (museum) through the back exit. As it was 8 in the AM, the only souls that stirred were the cleaners. We met up with our contact who provided us with a handy trolley for our equipment. This was very thoughtful but for £96 I was expecting a champagne reception.

We were led down various corridors and assorted rooms until we arrived at a smallish room lined with old books and filled with contemporary design. The first thing I noticed in here were some chairs similar to ones we used to have in our canteen at school. It never occurred to me at the time that these were design classics but thinking back they were definitely useful for sticking chewing gum to and standing on to watch fights.

We moved on to the main hall next which was impressive, even in the eyes of a well travelled and world-wise fellow like myself. We got a few more shots in there and then set off through another room of naked marble blokes to our final room of filming, The Glass Room. Sorry to go off on a tangent here but I couldn’t help wondering about the stoneware genitalia that I kept seeing thrust into my face. Now if you were having a statue made of you, you’d tell the youth making it to add a bit down there. No one’s going to know you bent the truth a bit. Anyway, The Glass Room was such a good area to film in that I found I had to reign in my creativity slightly. I consider myself an artist, a painter of the digital age, but we were here to do a job and that’s what got done.

We finished in good time and got a few exterior shots before making our way South-Westerly. Our next stop was Wandsworth Oasis, Jazmine’s favourite charity shop and also the place where she works. Our welcome was warm; the generosity and friendliness of the staff in the shop touched everyone. Suzanne had a rare moment of un-professionalism when she let her heart rule her head and went to try an outfit on. I was angry and upset but kept my emotions bottled down until they evaporated through my skin and I was back to my happy and serene self.

We bid our farewells to the lovely staff at Wandsworth Oasis and walked the short distance to Jazmine’s house, as she had kindly agreed to stow our equipment at her pad overnight. She then proceeded to show us a few more charity shops, one in which I purchased a Murs album for two pounds. What a steal! This trip is becoming somewhat of a retail heavy expedition for me, the two records I bought today adding to yesterday’s cheeky little purchase.

 We said adios to Jazmine and made our way back towards what they call the ‘centre’ of London. Because this journey was undertaken on a bus, we had a second chance to play our new game titled ‘Spot The Blue Circle On The Side Of Dead Posh Houses That Signifies That Someone Important Lived/Stayed There One Time’, or 'STBCOTSODPHTSTSILSTOT' for short. This game began after Suzanne didn’t know that such circles existed, but our efforts to prove their existence failed and the only one we found was a some Hungarian composer. No disrespect to them, I’m sure they were good and that, but we were craving someone more embedded in popular culture such as Michael Caine or Steve McFadden.

We will have plenty of time to carry on our little quest tomorrow when we travel back to Jazmine’s house for a more formal interview. So far so good young’uns.

 Just say no.

PBM

JM